All You Need to Know

2006-02-22T21:20:00.000-08:00

The first Top 10 List from OldManWinters

Inspired by the discussions of Kenny Smith and Charles Barkley during the All-Star weekend as well as the errors in judgement they made.

Top 10 Dunkers of all time:

10. Brent Barry - HE'S WHITE!!!!
9. Dee Brown - The no-look dunk was awesome and he was the ultimate Reebok salesman, pushing those "pump" shoes.
8. Darryl Dawkins (Dr. Dunkenstein) - The first one to name his dunks. Plus, he was from the planet "Lovetron"
7. Kobe Bryant - As quick an elevation as I have ever seen. Such a complete player, and an amazing dunker.
6. Dr. J - The 'Fro. The Free throw line. impressive, most impressive.
5. Michael Jordan
4. Jason Richardson - Extremely creative, came up with new dunks in this day and age.
3. Spud Webb/Nate Robinson - Shorter than me, makes the list.
2. Dominique Wilkins - Beautiful dunks, smooth, fluid, and all the dunkers talk about how hard they are to do.
1. Vince Carter - The most amazing dunks I have ever seen, in games as well as in contests. Half-man, half-amazing.

Honorable mention: Andre Igoudala for pulling off a dunk I thought was impossible. Cedric Ceballos for the blindfold. I still think it was a trick. Shawn Kemp for some unbelievable stuff early in his career. John Starks for that nasty one on mike and Horace.

New direction for now

2006-02-22T20:33:00.000-08:00

It's time for OldManWinters to go in a new direction. I'm feeling less angry, which is why I haven't posted in a while. I used to get all kinds of bile that had to vented. Now, I think I need to make top 5 and top 10 lists. Occasionally some DVD reviews. Neither of which will be timely, so don't feel you have to check every day. Thank you for your attention.

Why Oldmanwinters Hates Computers

2005-05-13T18:21:00.000-07:00

This machine has been out of commission due to a virus for about a month, probably more.

I hired some guy to re-format the hard drive and now can't get him to explain to me what exactly he did to it.

I can't add new users like he tells me because I get errors when I do.

I can't load software where I am supposed to because he can't seem to speak to another human and explain what needs to be done.

The moral of the story:

The next time you get a virus and your computer shuts down, spend the $90 and buy backups for all your documents and then just buy a new computer. These propeller-heads are impossible to deal with.

This crap is exactly why I dropped my Computer Information Systems minor in college.

I. HATE. COMPUTERS!!!!!!!!!

And that is all you need to know.

Why I Hate Video Professor

2005-03-07T15:36:00.000-08:00

69.95 for 3 lousy cd's!!!

The Godfather Trilogy

The Star Wars Trilogy

Lord of the Rings Trilogy

The only one even approaching this price is the Lord of the Rings
The Motion Picture Trilogy (Special Extended DVD Edition) (and thats with extra footage and a whopping 11+ hours viewing time.

The Video Professor is a typical "Loss Leader" scam. They advertise a free trial for $6.95.

However, this is only if you send back 1 of the three cd's they send, within the first 10 days.

If not, they start sending you more of these packages, every few weeks.

You get the bill for the second one, and by the time you send it back, the next one is already in the mail. Evidently, this is all listed in the 9,000 page document you are forced to accept (you know, the one that usually just spells out the million different ways you can't copy and distribute without the express, written permission of the NFL or some such.)

Anyway, all I know is if I say anything that said $69.95 for this crap, I wouldn't have gone anywhere near it.

Stay away at all costs.

I got to talk to the customer "service" folks and I got the distinct impression they were used to this kind of call. They may have technically covered themselves, and I can't sue them, but you had better believe that Old Man Winters will take EVERY opportunity to tell everyone about the evils of Video Professor and what this scam is all about.

And that is all you need to know.

The Chris Webber trade

2005-02-24T09:40:00.000-08:00

Wow. When I heard Webber was dealt to Philly, the first thing I thought was, "The big dog is going to Sacramento." Then I found out that Glenn Robinson was not involved, I thought that Philly totally screwed over Sacramento. Now I must wonder if Chris Webber's knee is really up to the challenge of an NBA season, or if he is just playing on one leg for the rest of his career.

Maybe so, and may I say that C-Webb is playing better on one leg than most 4's are playing on 2. He may not have too many season's left in him, but still, a trade for Webber and Matt Barnes and Michael Bradley (who are those other two?) and all you get is Kenny Thomas, Corliss Williamson (who admittedly can score down low) and Brian Skinner? If Webber showed up with only one leg, a single amputee, I would still say it was a wash trade. As it is a two-legged Webber, Philly robbed Sacramento. Plain and simple.

And that is all you need to know.

The Randy Moss trade

2005-02-24T09:33:00.000-08:00

So Randy Moss is now a Raider. Have you ever heard of an unhappy Raider? Me neither. Good move by Oakland. They needed a playmaker, someone, anyone. They got themselves a game-changer. They have taken a big step forward.

On the other side, Minnesota gets Napoleon Harris (they needed help on defense), a first round pick (#7) and a late round pick next year. With all the wide receivers available, they can replace Moss with 1, maybe 2 guys and their offense will not be any worse off.

Here are some of the guys they can look at: Plaxico Burress is available, so is Derrick Mason. I believe Isaac Bruce and Mushin Mohammad are soon to be out there for the taking. Also, in the draft they have 2 options, Michigan's Braylon Edwards and USC's Mike Williams.

Not too shabby. Plus, they don't have to deal with that headache in the locker room. The Raiders are used to that type of headache, Al Davis owns the team.

And that is all you need to know.

Dallas got themselves a bus driver

2005-02-24T09:04:00.000-08:00

Dallas has its quarterback for 2005. Good. Nice to see this situation tied up so early in the free agency period. I feel Bledsoe is the best available Free Agent QB right now. Dallas didn't overspend for him. They structured the deal so he could be cut in 2 years easily with little affect on the Salary cap. Well done Jerry and Bill, well done. Now all we need is a corner, safety, defensive end, defensive tackle, backup running back, new and young wide receiver, another linebacker, right guard and tackle and some better depth overall. That’s all.

I have nothing against Vinny Testeverde. He did a great job with what he had to work with last season. Thank you Vinny, and I am sorry for the idiots who booed you at Texas Stadium, they certainly don’t reflect MY views.

As for Mr. Bledsoe, finally Dallas fans have a quarterback worthy of wearing Danny White’s old number. With the Dallas offensive weapons, I expect him to have a better season here than in Buffalo, and a better season here than Vinny did.

This offensive line is better than he had in Buffalo, our running game is better, our receivers are better, and we have one of the best tight-ends in the game. He should do fine. With some tweaking on the offense (and health) the real improvements need to take place on defense.

I am officially excited about the 2005 season.

And that is all you need to know.

NBA All Star Weekend

2005-02-23T11:19:00.000-08:00

Some random thoughts assembled by the crack staff at Oldmanwinters.

While watching the one-on-one with Kevin Garnett, I have never liked this guy more. Watching how much losing is affecting him (KG cried!) made me want him to win more than ever. Also, it made me dislike Sam Cassell and Sprewell more than I ever have. Those guys ought to be ashamed of themselves. I would love for GP or Jason Kidd to go there in a last-minute trade. Whatever they need to get KG over the top.
Loved the old slam-dunk footage. Not sure why, but the old guys just didn't have the hang time. They never looked like they were jumping that high. Also, they seemed to look old even when they were young.
Watching the NBA Shooting Stars and we wondered: What's the over/under on Magic's weight gain since last year? We set it at 20 lbs. and I am taking the over. Honestly, who weighs more now, Magic or Shaq?
The 3 point shoot out. Is it just me or do you get the feeling that even though they aren't "leading the league," guys like Kobe, Lebron, Dirk, Rip Hamilton, etc. would make more shots than Rafer Alston.
Was Josh Smith on or what? Living in Atlanta, we have seen some nasty dunks from him and some blocks administered with much anger, but that was something special

On to the game

Kobe and Shaq did not greet each other before the game. Grow up, boys.
Kobe had a sweet turnaround jumper with the left hand. Nice.
In response, Shaq gets a nice dunk and a foul. (He misses the free throw.)
LBJ completes a beautiful Alley-oop from half-court.
Shawn Marion gets identical dunks, one on a breakaway, one in the half-court set. That is some creativity, let me tell you.
We at Oldmanwinters approve of the return to the official jerseys for the All-Star game. That idea of players wearing jerseys of their own teams, but with an All Star patch was stupid. I like the East/West jerseys with the logo of the team embroidered just above the name.
How nice was that alley-oop by Amare where he nearly decapitated himself ducking under the rim?
Almost as nice as Vince's Alley-oop to himself. I don't care if his cousin T-Mac did it before. I am still impressed by any player that can do that in a game.

And that is all you need to know.

In response to Frank J's call

2005-02-23T05:42:00.000-08:00

My most favoritest blogger has issued a challenge to all bloggers, of which I'm. (That contraction was for you, Dad.)

So, heeding his highness', Frank J ( master of all he blogs) command, here is my response. (I was atrocious at diagramming sentences in school. Nearly flunked out of Honors English because of it.)

THE "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?" BLOGGER QUIZ
1. Who the hell do you think you are?
Oldmanwinters. KaiserSoze37. Bruce Leroy. Champion. Formerly "Blondie".

2. So, other than blogging, what's your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?
Financial Consultant. I could buy and sell you like that! (Snaps fingers)

3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?
I know what I hate. I hate the New York Times and Ted Rall

4. Do you even read newspapers?
Used to read the sports sections, now I get all I need and then some online.

5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?
On-line, I like National Review (Jonah Goldberg is the man!) Townhall.com. But above them all, I get my news from IMAO.us and blueeyedinfidel.com

6. I bet you're some moron talk radio listener too, huh?
I listen now and again, but the guys on the radio are way too nice, except for Boortz. That man can get a mean-on like no other.

7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?
Braaaaaaak! Polly want a tax cut! Braaaaaak! I love Halliburton! Braaaaaak!

8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?
Because they contribute nothing good to society, and I like quiet. And just because I am German, doesn't make me a facist. That's Profiling, you hypocrite!

9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?
Yup, will be using it again real soon.

10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?
Enjoy Canada, but they always accuse me of making fun of their country. Probably because I am. I loved Italy. Beautiful country, with outstanding history and art. I would like to go back again. CHEAP wine!!!

11. If you're so keen on the war, why haven't you signed up, chickenhawk?
Not now...I'm far too drunk. (Simpson's reference in case you missed it.)

12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face?
That's really two separate issues. Neither of which I can comfortably discuss without consulting my attorney.

13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?
Yes, I worked my way through college on a landscaping crew. Much goo.

14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!
Old. Man. Winters.

And that is all you need to know.

So Mad.

2005-02-14T09:41:00.000-08:00

The company took away all previous web-based e-mail and fantasy basketball access. A CLEAR case of THE MAN keeping me down. How am I supposed to keep up with the losers in my fantasy basketball league if I can't check stats and update my roster? This bites.

Also, how am I supposed to keep up with my e-mails and organize Klown Incorporated with His High Klownness, Scott Burks?

This is NOT good.

And that is all you need to know.

The Official General Of This Blog

2005-02-11T10:07:00.000-08:00

Click on the title to see the Washington Post article and tell me this isn't exactly the guy you want running the Marines.

Lt. Gen. James N. Mattis.

Take these quotes for example:
"Actually, it's a lot of fun to fight. . . . It's fun to shoot some people. I'll be right upfront with you, I like brawling," he said at the forum in San Diego.
"You go into Afghanistan, you got guys who slap women around for five years because they didn't wear a veil," he added. "You know, guys like that ain't got no manhood left anyway. So it's a hell of a lot of fun to shoot them."

BEA-UTIFUL. It almost makes this Old Man want to cry.

Rush Limbaugh always said the purpose of the military is to kill people and break things. My thanks to General

And that is all you need to know.

I don't think this needs any comment.

2005-02-03T10:17:00.000-08:00

The title alone tells the tale. Click on the title of the post to see the whole article.

Woman Accused of Giving Lethal Sherry Enema

Evidently she used two 1.5 Liter bottles of the stuff.

Makes me clench just thinking about it.

And that is ALL you need to know.

Great shot at the Left.

2005-02-03T08:27:00.000-08:00

I for one am always looking for ways to take shots at the political left, but rarely do I see a comment that so succinctly puts my feelings into words. Tim Graham does so for me on National Review Online with the following. I will quote the entire paragraph for context:

"After several years of projecting doom in Iraq, it's odd to see the media attacking the White House for building a sense of urgency about reforming Social Security with the Democrats kicking and screaming behind. The night before last, Ted Koppel concluded with the thought: "Yes, fear is a powerful force, but here's a lovely sign I saw the other day: 'Pessimism,' it read, 'is a misuse of the imagination.'" How any arrogant liberal media gloom merchant like Koppel can say that without an ounce of introspection on their own recent career is an amazing sign of the hermetically sealed desperation inside the shrinking bubble of liberalism."

Beautiful. Thank you Mr. Graham.

Also, I just have to mention the tiny amount of attention I have seen in the mainstream media about the election in Iraq. I was half-way through Sunday before I remembered the election and decided to check out FoxNews for an update. I was stuck in the house by ice, so I was watching more TV that even usual, but there was no mention of it on any of the regular channels I watched, network or otherwise.

This is absolutely pathetic. 25 million people get to experience democracy after living under the thumb of a junior Stalin for 35 years, and we hear not a peep. I am so tired of this country's media, I am tempted to tune out completely. Makes me sick.

I will revert to sports with the next post and get off my soap box and onto a sports-related one.

And that is all you need to know.

Snotty Yankees

2005-01-27T08:40:00.000-08:00

What a load of crap.

Not Jacksonville, but the article.

Having been to Jacksonville numerous time, I enjoyed myself. It isn't huge, it isn't New York, so surprise!!! A stupid Yankee hates the place. It is one of the fastest growing cities in the country and has been for years. People are flocking to it right and left. No taxes, extremely mild winters, and the beach is just a few miles away.

What a jerk, making fun of a city and holding up the likes of Detroit (murder capital of America), Minneapolis (my car is frozen to the curb or I would move South) and Green Bay (I am too clogged with cheese to move somewhere nice and warm) as though they might be better options. They might have a better history, but none have any future. Who in their right mind is looking to move to Detroit, Green Bay, or Minneapolis? NOBODY.

So what if Jacksonville is sprawling, so is LA and so is Chicago and Dallas and Houston. Frankly, Jax is poised to be the biggest city in Florida. If this nimrod from up North had any brains, he would be buying property in Jacksonville before the Super Bowl before the mass migration begins.

And that is all you need to know.

Reclining Squirrell Kung Fu Stance

2005-01-26T13:43:00.000-08:00

And here, I thought all this time I had invented this method of defense. Imagine the Old Man's surprise to find out he had tapped into a mystical form of fighting from a far away land. I bet he could beat me.

I love The Onion.

And that is all you need to know.

Rough week for the Old man

2005-01-24T13:47:00.000-08:00

Lets sum up the week for Old Man Winters

The Good:
My folks were in town, thus freeing up the wife and me from lots of parenting duties. Much relaxation was had.

The Bad:
The continuing saga of playoff teams for whom I am rooting ultimately choking continues. Yet again this year, I am faced with the prospect of hoping for a fatal crash of both teams who are Super Bowl bound. Both teams are awful and both cities have the most obnoxious fans (Philly as the worst, Boston as second worst.) If possible, maybe somehow they can both lose. The best I can hope for now is Philly winning, with Terrell Owens getting injured again or not being a factor. Which probably means that Terrell Owens will play and make an idiot of himself again, but New England will win. The NFL sucks right now.

On a personal note, I lost in fantasy basketball to the biggest tool in our league. I guess if I lose a game to Angie Dickenson here, things need to change. (Angie Dickenson played Big Bad Mama in the eponymous film). To give credit where credit is due, Big Bad mamma's players were at the top of their game. Mine were not. I got beat. Who knew Vince Carter, Kirk Hinrich, etc were going to have the best games of the season against me. Also, I want to give a big fat thank you to Shaq for throwing down a huge 14 pt. 8 reb game on Sunday. Way to step up, big man. Really helps my cause. Anyway, congrats to Angie Dickenson on the victory and I hope you never win another game.

And that is All You Need to Know.

Old Man Winters goes to the doctor

2005-01-20T14:26:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of partaking in America's grand healthcare system. Not too bad overall. Everything is working well, but I have always hated sitting in that exam room all by myself. This time was especially disconcerting since there was a tube of KY sitting on the counter, ready to use.

When the doc came in, I let him know that was something that does not exactly inspire comfort in a patient. He let me know that was not part of the exam for today. He offered to utilize it after hours, but I politely declined. All I had to do was strip and have him prod and grope me for a while. No biggie. I get worse in the parking lot on any given day, anyhow.

And that is all you need to know.

Old Man Winters starts his own

2005-01-18T11:10:00.000-08:00

It is I.
The Kaiser.
Bruce Leroy.
The Champ.
Kaiser Soze himself.

I am here on my own blog, to begin spouting my own particular brand of knowledge upon the blogsphere.

Get ready for your blog world to be rocked.

I. AM. OLD. MAN. WINTERS.

Dallas Cowboys director of scouting retires

2005-01-07T14:32:00.000-08:00

Great news for all Dallas Cowboys fans.

Larry Lacewell, director of scouting has officially retired. This is the most upbeat news I have heard about my beloved Cowboys since Bill Parcells was hired.

Since 1996, Dallas has had 2 winning seasons, and even with the low draft choices (3 straight years of 5-11 seasons) the Cowboys haven’t been able to move up in the standings (barring a fluke season or two). Every year, the draft hasn’t panned out as planned. (Three corners drafted in one season. Guess what position still needs to be filled?) The fault has always been put on Jerry Jones’ shoulders. This has been somewhat undeserved. Jerry may be an egomaniac (you have to be to get to his level) but the man just wants to win.
Bottom. Line.

Lets look at this years draft for instance.
Julius Jones - Considered to be Bill Parcells’ boy, and seems to be a stud (102 ypg)
THEN it falls off A BIT.

Jacob Rogers – 2nd round OT played on some special teams.
Stephen Peterman – 3rd round guard. Tore an ACL in preseason. Jury is still out.
Bruce Thornton – 4th round corner. Inactive first 3 games, tore an ACL in only game played. Jury is still out.

2003 draft. Decent talent.
Terence Newman at corner (first), Al Johnson at Center (second), Jason Witten (third).

Before that, the results were depressing. Six players drafted from 1997-2002 were legitimate starters this year. This is the time when these players are supposed to be coming into their primes.

Maybe things were just in a slump, but I doubt it. I am hoping that whomever it was in the organization that found Jason Witten as a 3rd rounder will be promoted. Otherwise, I would like to see someone established brought in. Something needs to be shaken up, desperately.

No more drafts with Ebenezer Ekuban, Shante Carver, David LaFleur, etc. It seemed as if the team was looking to replace individual components by drafting a guy that looked like the player they lost. Antonio Bryant was a hot-headed, talented receiver, a-la Michael Irvin. Problem was, he couldn’t stay in his routes. David LaFleur was a big tight-end who could catch, a-la Jay Novachek, he just couldn’t produce when they needed and kept getting injured. Shante Carver was a pass-rushing defensive end, a-la Charles Haley. Now Shante is in the Arena League. Super guy, he just didn’t have it.

Now, I have hope. With every loss, my dad would let me know we were just going to get better in the draft. I kept reminding him that the Cowboys don’t seem to be able to draft for the last decade. But now there is a chance for change. Now there is reason for hope.

And that’s all you need to know.